Welcome Home

  The Funeral

The death of a baptized Christian, one who has lived in the communion of the church, is an occasion for thanksgiving and the proclamation of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Every activity surrounding such a death and burial should point to the good news of the gospel.

The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America has no formally approved teaching document regarding funeral practices. Specific material intended to guide the way this church approaches the Burial of the Dead, however, can be found in Evangelical Lutheran Worship in the form of liturgical texts, rubrics (directions) and "Notes on the Liturgy" found in the Leaders' Edition. These notes guide the church’s practice in a variety of circumstances. Although the most common form of the Burial of the Dead involves worship in church with the body of the deceased Christian present, the notes make it clear that adaptations are possible if the body cannot be present. 

The notes also guide the conduct of the service and the committal, whether a body is to be buried in the ground, entombed above ground, commended to the sea, cremated, or donated for medical research or organ donation. The church regards all of these methods of disposition of the body as acceptable for the Christian. Some congregations provide space for the interment of cremated remains in a columbarium (where individual urns holding ashes are interred in niches) in or near the church building, or in memorial gardens near the building (where ashes may be buried or scattered and a list of names preserved on a memorial tablet or in some other suitable way).

For pastoral care and to help in planning, the pastor should be notified immediately upon the death of a member of the congregation. No plans for the funeral should be made apart from consultation with the pastor and appropriate parish staff. When possible, it is a good idea to plan the funeral liturgy well before the death of a Christian to avoid planning during a time of grieving. Such planning offers an occasion for the pastor to talk seriously about the Christian hope of the resurrection of the dead through Jesus Christ.

Evangelical Lutheran Worship provides for the celebration of Holy Communion at funerals. At such celebrations, the invitation to commune is extended to communicants present at the service–-not only to the family and immediate circle of mourners. The book also encourages the use of a funeral pall to cover the casket of baptized Christians from the time it is brought into the church until it is carried out. A pall is a large white cloth, sometimes marked with a cross, that completely covers the casket. The use of a pall treats every Christian exactly the same, whether buried in the costliest casket or the simplest wooden box. As well, the pall "echoes" the white garment of Holy Baptism. The casket is always closed for the liturgy, whether it is celebrated in church or in some other setting. The cremated ashes, with suitable adaptations, can be treated the same way when they are present for the liturgy. Lighting of the paschal candle and placing it near the head of the casket as it rests in the church also points the assembly to the promises of dying and rising with Christ that God makes at the time of baptism.

Christians will strive to keep the gospel hope of the resurrection at the center of all observances associated with the death of a Christian. Because the church understands the Burial of the Dead to be a service of worship to God through Jesus Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit, it does not allow social or fraternal societies to introduce rites or ceremonies into its liturgy. These ceremonies should not be mingled with the church’s worship of God either in the church building or in any other setting (such as a funeral home, mortuary, or at the graveside). Military honors and fraternal tributes and rites should be kept separate from the funeral and committal services of the church. Practices associated with the mortuary or funeral home or the family home, such as viewing the body of the deceased or watching with the family, are not within the purview of this review of church practices. 

Pastors and congregations may choose to extend their care to unchurched people and their families at the time of death and bereavement. Modifications in the burial rite for Christians as detailed in Evangelical Lutheran Worship, must then be made, whether the rite is used in a funeral home or church setting.

COME WITH ME


The Lord saw you getting tired
And a cure was not to be,
So He put his arms around you
And whispered, "Come with me."

With tearful eyes, we watched you suffer
And saw you fade away,
Although we loved you dearly,
We could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating,
A beautiful smile at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove
He only takes the best.

It's lonesome here without you
We miss you so each day,
Our lives aren't the same
Since you went away.

When days are sad and lonely,
And everything goes wrong,
We seem to hear you whisper,
"Cheer up and carry on."

Each time we see your picture,
You seem to smile and say,
"Don't cry, I'm in God's keeping,
We'll meet again someday."

LETTER FROM HEAVEN

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say.

But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God

above. Here, there's no more tears of sadness; Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.

Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was

through. God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again, you were missed while

you were gone. As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on.

There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to

do. And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night the day's chores put to

flight. God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving

years. Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry: it does relieve the pain. Remember

there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.

If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is

o'er. I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to

climb; But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too;

That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain;

Then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented....that my life was worthwhile.

Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;

Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.

When you're walking down the street and you've got Me on

your mind; I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go....from that body to be

free. Remember you're not going.....you're coming here to Me.

Help for the Grieving

If you have just lost a love one, nothing is going to take away the pain and sorrow immediately. There is no "quick fix". And you have probably already heard all the standard fare about how they are "in a better place now", "it was meant to be", "only God knows the big plan", "God needed another angel", etc., etc. You probably don't want to hear these things even if they are true. Pain, suffering, and anger are very normal part of the grieving process. Don't even try to deny yourself of these feelings. It's supposed to hurt. Healing takes time. How you cope with these feelings is what is important.

There are many ways of coping with the death of a loved one. For example some people get drunk. But that's not a very constructive method of dealing with any problem.  One of the best ways of getting past your own pain is to help others. Someone once said, " I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet". There is always someone worse off than you. Think about joining a volunteer group or charity organization.

Just search all the different sources on the Internet for ways to find help coping with your loss. There is a support group for just about every situation imaginable. There are also many sources for free online memorials on the Internet. My personal favorite Site for free online memorials is "In God's Hands".. This Site was started and is maintained by Patricia Kusila. A wonderfully compassionate lady who knows first hand what it means to suffer the loss of a loved one. Her Site is absolutely beautiful and overflowing with heavenly graphics, heartfelt stories, and touching poetry. I love the poem "And God Said". Please visit her Site and email some of the families who have placed memorials of their lost loved ones there. It will make you feel better to try to help someone else who is hurting too.

For me, nothing replaces reading the Bible to find comfort. Not only for my grief for my loved ones who have passed away, but also when I contemplate my own mortality. I am not afraid of my own impending death when I think of being risen again to be with Jesus in heaven. 

It helps me to know that if God raised His Son from the dead (and I believe that He did), He can do the same for my loved ones and for me. No one on Earth has suffered any more than Jesus did during His short time here. And for the Father to have to watch His Son suffer and die...well I can't imagine anything more painful than that. Especially when He could have easily said, "To hell with those ungrateful people on Earth" But He loved us so much that He gave His Son to suffer and die a most horrible death so He could crush the Devil and win back our place for us in Heaven with Him (the Devil tricked us in the Garden of Eden).

I realize that not everyone would like to have a picture of their dearly departed loved one...with or without Jesus...especially if it has been too soon and the death has been too painful. In fact, it is a very normal reaction to be angry with God for a long time after a loved one has passed away.

Even my own sister has a problem with my pictures in that she doesn't believe that we should depict Jesus in pictures because we don't really know what He looked like. That's fine for her, but as for me, I found that looking at pictures of my Dad with Jesus was very comforting and I have several drawers full of thank you letters and cards from customers who agree with me (see the testimonies below). They have found that being able to visualize their loved one with Jesus is a great aid in healing from their grief. In fact, I am proud to say, in some cases, our "Jesus and Loved One" pictures have been instrumental in the healing process.

The worst picture I have done to date (quality-wise) was from a newspaper clipping of an obituary. It was the only picture that she had of her father. I worked on it for 2 weeks and finally sent her all my best efforts but I wasn't satisfied with the quality of any of them. She called me a few days later...and thanked me...between sobs ...for the beautiful picture of her Dad with Jesus. Beauty truly is in the eyes of the beholder.

My favorite testimony for our pictures came from within our own family. Jenny and I gave all of her brothers and her sister a picture of their Dad with Jesus for a Christmas present. That night, Jenny's sister was tucking in her 6 year old daughter and was asked to get the picture of  "Grandpa with Jesus" . She got the picture for her daughter who looked at it and began to weep. Soon her mother was weeping right along with her. Jenny's sister told us later that it was the first time that her daughter had cried for her Grandfather since he died 10 month's before.

Crying is a very important part of  "getting better"

Bible Verses To Comfort the Grieving

John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16-NLT Version

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
John 6:47

Very truly, I tell you, whoever believes has eternal life.  
John 6:47-NLT Version
I assure you, anyone who believes in me already has eternal life.
Revelation 21:4

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes

And death shall be no more,

Luke: 20:38

Colossians 3:1-4

John 14:1-3

Stairway to Heaven

Sudden Unexpected Loss

Chinese Proverb

Life is a dream walking, death is going home.

Victor Hugo

"Sorrow is a fruit.  God does not make it grow on limbs too weak to bear it."

William Wordsworth

"The music is my heart I bore, long after it was heard no more."

Footprints on our Hearts

"Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never the same".

Emily Dickinson

Human Spirit

"The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it." 

See Another Through

"We are not put on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through."

Roses in December

"God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December." 

Loss

"We never understand how little we need in this world until we know the loss of it." 

Dawn has Come

"Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because dawn has come." 

Let me, O Lord

Let me, O Lord, walk blindly on the path that you have traced. 
 I do not seek to understand Your guidance.

My World

I asked God for a flower, He gave me a garden.
I asked God for a tree, He gave me a forest.
I asked God for a river, He gave me an ocean.
I asked God for the world, He gave me "loved one's name here".
My heart is lost to you always and forever.